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Self-forgiveness: The Process and The Rewards

Writer's picture: Sarah BeniceSarah Benice

Updated: Apr 30, 2023

Forgiveness is such a liberating experience.


Self-imposed prison is often said to be the most difficult prison to escape from. Forgiving oneself is particularly difficult. We can be very harsh on ourselves and can be very unforgiving. We will explore self-forgiveness and the freedom that comes along with it in this blog post.





We tend to go through life feeling guilty and beating ourselves over all sorts of things. There is freedom in forgiving ourselves. It is important to let go of self-blame, guilt and self-hatred. The self in self-forgiveness means that it is your responsibility and no one else can do it for you. Forgiving yourself requires honesty, courage, acceptance and letting go of what has happened in the past.


Forgiving yourself is the beginning of living a fulfilled life. We cannot forgive others if we cannot forgive ourselves. It starts with us. It is self-destructive to hold onto self-hatred, self-blame and guilt.

When we beat ourselves up, walk around feeling guilty, we deny ourselves the peace and happiness that we deserve.


Self-forgiveness is often overlooked yet it is a very powerful tool when it comes to personal growth. We often dismiss ourselves because it involves self-reflection and taking responsibility. We would rather blame others and avoid self-reflection. Self-forgiveness is the ability to take lessons from our past, learn from them and move on with a clean slate.



We can heal ourselves through forgiving.


Self-forgiveness helps us to heal ourselves, it sets us free and brings clarity into our lives. If we hold onto self hate it can lead to self-destruction, concealed anger and/low self-esteem. It only brings us down and keeps us trapped in our past.


Self-forgiveness is not self-pity, it is self-love. It is the ability to be kind and compassionate with ourselves, even when we make mistakes. We are human after all and we will make mistakes.


Forgiving yourself does not mean that you condone your actions but it means that you accept them and take responsibility.


Self-forgiveness does not mean that what happened was okay or that you are absolving yourself of all responsibility. It means that we recognise what has happened, accept that we are only human and work toward doing things differently.


Forgiving yourself is a process that allows you to let go of the past, to live in the present and to move forward with your life.


The difference comes when we decide to forgive ourselves and move on with our lives instead of living forever with regret.


We can also bring in more positive relationships and experiences when we forgive ourselves. By doing so, we are kinder and gentler towards ourselves. Knowing that we have been there before also teaches us to be compassionate toward others.


It always starts with us. Whether it means being kind, giving or forgiving. As the wise man once said, "we cannot give what we do not have". In the same way, we cannot give another person an experience we have never had ourselves.


Do Not Seek Revenge. Forgive Yourself.
Do Not Seek Revenge.

Action Plan

How can you forgive yourself today? Give yourself forgiveness for 1 - 3 things you have been feeling guilty about.


Can you think of 1 - 3 people who have annoyed you recently, and forgive them? If you do this at least once a week, you will make a habit of it and soon you will tap into the fountain of true happiness.


Please feel free to share your experience with us either in the comment section or privately if you feel so guided. You never know who you might inspire.


BeNice






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